I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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