It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
