if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
