Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize