my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
