just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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