her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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