is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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