Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
