On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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