I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
