i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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