wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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