You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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