i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
