when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
