Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
