You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
