nut hugger
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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