dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
