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In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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