cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize