there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
