I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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