his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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