Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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