Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
