You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
