we have pet lesbian snakes
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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