I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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