; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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