Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize