I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
