im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
