Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
