I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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