your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
