I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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