Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i out mim tonsoeep
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
