She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His nipple licking is glorious
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