Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
