i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
