if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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