he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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