he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
