proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
