Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
