She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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