at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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