On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Welp...herpes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
