sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
