that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
