it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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