She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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