i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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