and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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