Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
