come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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