When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
