She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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