Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
