i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
