I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
