How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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