I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have fence marks all over my body
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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