yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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